Me: I ordered the cheapest set of holiday cards. I can’t remember the last year I sent holiday cards. I only have 25 of them. I hope I have enough.
Brain: You ordered the obnoxious “Look at My Child” photo card.
Me: But my child is so cute!
Brain: And do you really think you know 25 people who would want to get a card from you?
Me: Most people have hundreds of people on their holiday card list.
Brain: Mmm-hmm. How many addresses do you have on your list?
Me: I just jotted down 15 addresses. That only leaves me 10 cards left.
Brain: Don’t think I don’t see the pediatrician and day care on that list.
Me: I want them to like us.
Brain: So, what are you going to do with the last 10 cards?
Me: I should keep one, so technically it is only 9 cards.
Brain: Fine. What are you going to do with the last 9 cards.
Brain: In case you ever start feeling good about yourself, please remember this moment. You are so pathetic you can’t find 25 people to send holiday cards to.
Me: It’s the most wonderful time of the year?
Brain: Not for you. There is no wonderful time of the year for you.