Brain: See. That wasn’t so bad! You are adjusting to the Paper White. You turned off the ads for free. You deleted some of your TWENTY-SEVEN devices that had access to your Amazon account. (For the love of Hera, woman! Get a life!) All’s right with the world.
Me: It doesn’t feel right.
Brain: You can hold it in your dominant hand and page turn by tapping the screen.
Me: I can’t back page one-handed.
Brain: You will adapt. See how far you have already come?
Me: I guess.
Brain: What are you doing? This is a bad idea –
Me: Nooooooooo!!!!! Nooooooooo!!!! Nooooooo!!!!
Brain: You can overcome this!
Me: I can’t play Thread Words!!!!! It is my favorite game and it was only available on my Kindle!!!!!
Brain: So you can’t play one game. What are you going to do? Sit in a corner, hold your knees, rock, and whimper? Wait… No! Get away from the corner! Edge towards the middle of the room!!! No, dammit!!! Don’t sit… Fine, don’t rock… WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!