Me: Munchkin, Mommy’s head hurts.
Brain: You should die! You are a terrible parent! That poor, disappointed child!
Me: Yes, Baby. Come get mommy when the timer goes off. Mommy has to lie down.
Munchkin: I’m going to kiss your owie head and lie down with you.
Brain: You don’t deserve her!
Me: I know!!!
Deciding I was hungry, I decided to experiment with the pressure cooker. It actually worked. I can only assume hell has frozen over.
Sauteed a chicken breast in chili oil. Added a half cup of frozen Pineapple-Orange juice. Added a cup of rice. A cup of Chicken Broth. Set to high pressure for 20 minutes. Released. Made a slurry with a little liquid and a teaspoon of corn starch. Stirred it all up. OMG.
I did something that worked!
I am not going to survive the holidays. I nearly didn’t survive our vacation. Not only is Munchkin an extrovert, but she loves people. I have come to realize those are two different things.
On our cruise, we boarded the ship in Vancouver. The next day, we put into port in Seattle. Munchkin and I ducked into a McDonald’s to get her a juice box. As I struggled with the straw, I heard someone call Munchkin’s name. I looked up to see three crew members waiving excitedly at my daughter.
As the cruise progressed, her social interactions became exponentially complicated. One morning, it took 23 minutes to walk past the pool on the Lido deck. I know, because I timed it.
Now the holidays are here. People are social. Munchkin is social. I am exhausted just thinking about it. Maybe it is time to become an alcoholic…
Munchkin: I am so scared!
Me: Why are you scared, baby?
Munchkin: I had a bad dream.
Me: Dreams can be scary sometimes.
Munchkin: I don’t want to go to sleep!
Me: Are you afraid of having the dream again?
Me: Love, if you have a bad dream, you come get Mommy, Okay?
Munchkin: But I don’t want them to get me! I’m scared.
Me: Who are you afraid will get you?
Munchkin: The penguins!!!!!
Munchkin spent all day yesterday rolling around in wood chips. Given her hair has been up in puffs for a week, this was not good for her hair.
White friends: she spent almost four weeks in microbraids. She needed a week off to let her hair “relax” and prevent part fatigue.
I have made a conscious decision to let Munchkin have fun and not emphasize that she is making my life difficult in regards to her hair. I want her to love her amazing curls and the intricate styles available to her.
Having planned to wash and style her hair today – after gymnastics – we went to a “pumpkin patch” before her class. We played with bunnies. She rolled in hay, and she bouncy-castled herself into exhaustion.
We then went to gymnastics. Munchkin hugged everyone. She comforted two crying two-year olds and then sang You Are My Sunshine with an elegant black woman who was there with her niece and nephew.
This woman was amazing – especially given the two children weren’t hers. And she immediately fell in love with Munchkin.
Another black woman came up behind us and said something I didn’t hear, before swiping a child up and leaving. She was very careful to make sure that I didn’t hear what she said, while making sure I knew it was about Munchkin.
Incidents like this aren’t exactly rare, but they aren’t common either. The poor woman who was there with her nibblings was incensed. Once she got over her shock, she expressed outrage over how rude the other woman was. It was touching how upset she was on my behalf.
Finally, she asked me if I had heard what the rude woman had said. I hadn’t and pretended to shrug it off. This lovely woman informed me that she wouldn’t repeat it, but that I didn’t deserve that.
It didn’t take a mind reader to know what the issue was. I smiled at her (despite my anger and insecurity). I assured her that Munchkin’s hair didn’t usually look like that.
The woman assured me that she had the same type of hair as Munchkin, that she knew the struggles, and that she has seen the braids I have done in the past.
Her outrage on my behalf was generous and appreciated. What scares me is that Munchkin is getting to the point that she understands things. I fear the day she can understand the cruelty about her hair and my parenting.
To all the amazing black women in my life, I thank you for your help and support. I will continue to lean on you. And I will soon need your advice on how to make Munchkin love her hair as much as I do.
- It is rainy.
- It is fairly cool.
- I never saw a single bug.
- You can walk to town.
- The farmer’s market has great deals.
- If it stops raining, there is a breeze.
Traveling with a toddler is an interesting experience. I learned a lot before boarding the plane at 6:00am.
1. YOU NEED A VISA TO TRAVEL TO CANADA!!!!
2. Everyone in line behind us at the ticket counter is going to wait, because Munchkin is going to climb across the luggage scale and demand a hug from each of the five people working the counter. This will prompt them to stop working and congregate around Munchkin with adoration.
3. No matter how many times You explain that luggage has to go in the airplane’s trunk, when they take the luggage away, trauma will ensue. Catching Munchkin when she lunges across the luggage scales and tries to rescue the luggage as it disappears on the conveyor belt takes three adults.
4. When a three-year old wants to see the plane out the window, the grown man sleeping in front of the window makes a useful step stool.
Me: Apparently, my phone has been streaming Netflix all morning!
Boss: What has your phone been entertaining itself with?
Me: Deep Space Nine! I have to figure out where I was in the series!
Boss: Why are you watching Deep Space Nine?
Me: Um… Because it is the best of the franchise.
Boss: Please. I am an Original Series guy. Deep Space Nine isn’t any good.
Me: I’m sorry. I can’t work here anymore.
Me: Look at how beautiful that is! All those neat packing cubes for me and Munchkin. All I have to do is put them in suitcases!
Brain: Did you pack underwear yet?
Me: I don’t think so.
Me: Probably not.
Brain: Where are the cold weather clothes versus the hot weather clothes?
Brain: Did you remember to pack pants?
Me: Surely there is a pair of pants in there somewhere. Right?
Brain: Where is what Munchkin is supposed to wear on the plane?
Brain: Is there a hairbrush? Where are your contact lens supplies?
Me: I have to open all these cubes, sort, review, and repack, don’t I?
Brain: Yep. Congratulations! Your attempt at preparation has resulted in double the work and half the efficiency!